Never Met A Person As Wonderful As Me — текст песни (Weird Al Yankovic)

Well, I stare at myself in the mirror
When I wake up every morn
And I marvel at how great I`ve been
Since the day that I was born

I`ve made so many albums
I`ve run out of things to name `em
My fans all want to be like me
And really, who can blame `em

Teenage groupies all surround me
I guess I know why
No one else can match my charm
Why do they even try

All the girls in college
Turned me down for other fellas
But I know why, it seems to me
They`re just insanely jealous
Who wouldn`t be

Some people call it self-indulgence
But they just don`t understand
That it`s hard to be too humble
When you know that you`re so grand

And I`m not trying to say I`m perfect
I just want you to see
That I`ve never met a person
Who`s as wonderful as me

Now, I`m not arrogant or haughty
And I`m certainly not conceited
But anyone trying to match my wits
Is very soon defeated

I`m a marvellous human being
I`m just one big hunk of man
Sometimes I have to marvel
At how very great I am

Some people call it self-indulgence
But they just don`t understand
That it`s hard to be too humble
When you know that you`re so grand

And I`m not trying to say I`m perfect
I just want you to see
That I`ve never met a person
Who`s as marvellous, spectacular
Fantastic and terrific
And so very great and wonderful as me