Anouncer: Let`s meet contestant number one!
He`s a schitzofrenic serial killer clown, who says
women love his sexy smile. Let`s find out if his
charm will work on Sharon.
Sharon what`s your question?
Sharon: Contestant number one, I believe first impressions
last forever, so let`s say you were to come over to my
parents house and have dinner with me and my family.
Tell me what you`d do to make that first impression really
stick?
Let`s see...hmm...well I`d have to think about it
I might show up in a tux (ha) but I doubt it
I`d probably just show up naked like I always do
And lick your mama in the eye and tell her F*ck you
Hurry up B*tch I`m hungry...I smell spaghetti
I`d pinch her limpy ass and tell her get the food ready
Your dad would probably start trippin` and get me pissed
I`d have to walk up and bust him in his F*ckin` lips
It`s dinner time...we`re hearing grace from your mother
I`d pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother
I`m steady staring at your sister, I`ll tell you this
You know for only thirteen, she`s got some big tits
After that, your dad would try to jump again
and only this time I`d put the 40 to his chin
After your mom does the dishes and the silverware
I`d try to f*ck her till` I nut in my underwear
(hahahahaha)
Anouncer: Now let`s meet contestant number two!
He`s a phsycopathic daranged crack head freak, who works
with a dark carnival. He says women call him strech nuts
Sharon let`s hear your question?
Sharon: I like a man who`s not afraid to show his true emotions
A man who expresses himself in his own special way
Number two...If you fell in love with me exactly how would you
let me know?
First thing, I could never love you
You sound like a witchy b*tch yo (f*ck you)
But if I did I`ll probably show you that I care
By taking all these other mother f*ckers out of here
I`d go through your phone book, and wack em` all
and fight contestant number one and break his f*cken jaw (what)
Anyone who looked at you would have to pay
I`ll be blowing f*cken nuggets off all day
I`d grab your titties, and stretch em` down past your waist
Let em` go and watch them both spring up in your face
I`ll sing love songs to you the best I can
Get you naked and hit it like a Cave man!
Then we`d go to the beach and walk through the sand
I`d throw a little in your face and say I`m just playin`
As you spit it all out I rub your back
And grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack
(HAHAHAHAH)
Anouncer: Well it sounds like contestant number two is just over-
flowing with sensitivity Sharon, It`s a tough choice so far
Sharon let`s have your last question and see which one is going
to win the rights to your _____
Sharon: Ok, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me
at the same time, Tell me, how would you each get my attention
and what would your pick up lines be? Whoever`s the smoothest wins
Ok well first I`d slide up to the bar and tell you that I can`t
believe how f*cken fat you are
I`d tell you that I like the way you make you titties shake
And if you lost a little weight you`d look like Ricky Lake
(F*CK THAT) you`d be jacking me quick, I`d order you a drink
and stir it with my Dick, and then to get your attention in the
crowded place I`d simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face
(Yeah freak her with your nuts, yeah that`ll get her)
(tell her that she`s fat, yeah that`ll work even better)
Look f*ck you, I gotta strong rep shit you don`t like contestant
number two he`s mad wack, I walk into a bar and there he was
Standing up behind a bucket (HAHAH) tryin ta f*ck it
It was a big f*cken smelly ass farm lama DAMN DAWG! How you gonna diss
your mama ?(HAHAHAHAHAHA)
