Phony Calls — текст песни (Weird Al)

Mom and dad are goin` out for the evening
And you`re stuck inside the house all alone
That`s when you decided it might be fun to harass someone
Dial a random number up on your telephone
You ask if their refrigerator is running
Then you tell `em they should go out and catch it
Buddy, if they ever figured out where you were callin` `em from
They`d come and bust your head right in with a ratchet
Listen to me
Don`t go makin` phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you`re used to
I know that you think it`s funny drivin` folks up the wall
But it`s really gettin` old fast

Little Melvin has a natural obsession
Askin` for Prince Albert in a can
He gets a kick each time he makes a collect call
To some guy he doesn`t know who lives in Japan
He`s callin` strangers up at three in the morning
Gives `em pizza pie delivery at four
He won`t be laughin when they`re tracin` his line
One day the phone police will be there at his door
Yo, hear me

Don`t go makin` phony calls
Only dial the seven-digit numbers you`re used to
Swear someday I`m gonna yank that phone cord right out from the wall
How long is this phase gonna last?
Come on

Moe`s bar, what`ll ya eat, beat or drink?
Uh, yeah, hello, is Mike there? Last name Rotch.
Hold on. I`ll check. Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody
seen Mike Rotch lately?
Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I`m going to
catch you, and I`m going to carve my name on your back with an
ice pick!

Don`t go makin` phony calls
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you`re used to
You went through the New York City phone book and prank called `em all
Hope that you grow out of this fast

Dont` go makin` phony calls,
Please stick to the seven-digit numbers you`re used to
Betcha think it`s funny when you`re drivin` folks right up the wall
But you`re just a pain in the aaa....