My Dad`s Gone Crazy — текст песни (Eminem f Hailie Jade)

{*channel surfing until a kid`s TV show*}
Hello boys and girls!
Today we`re gonna talk about father and daughter relationships
Do you have a daddy? I`ll bet you do!
Who`s your daddy?

[Hailie] Daddy what are you doing?
[Em + H] Okay then! Everybody, listen up!
[Eminem] I`m goin to hell! Who`s comin with me?!
[Hailie] Somebody please help him! I think my dad`s gone cray-zayy

[Eminem]
There`s no mountain I can`t climb, there`s no tower too high
No plane that I can`t learn how to fly
What do I gotta do to get through to you
to show you there ain`t nothin I can`t take this chainsaw to?
{Hailie: *VROOM*} Fuckin brains, brawn and brass balls
I cut `em off, and got `em pickled and bronzed in a glass jar
inside of a hall with my framed autographed sunglasses
with Elton John`s name, on my drag wall
I`m out the closet, I`ve been lyin my ass off
All this time me and Dre been fuckin with hats off
(Suck it Marshall!) So tell Laura and her husband to back off
`fore I push this motherfuckin button and blast off
and launch one at these Russians and that`s all {*boom*}
Blow every fuckin thing except Afghanistan on the map off
When will it stop? When will I knock the crap off?
{*knocking*} Hailie, tell `em baby - (My dad`s lost it!)

[Chorus: Eminem] + {Hailie}
There`s really nothin else to say, I-I can`t explain it
{I think my dad`s gone cray-zayy}
A little help from Hailie Jade, won`t you tell `em baby
{I think my dad`s gone cray-zayy}
There`s nothin you could do or say, that could ever change me
{I think my dad`s gone cray-zayy}
There`s no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie
{I think my dad`s gone cray-zayy}

[Eminem]
It`s like my mother always told me
Rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana rana and codeine
and God dammit you little motherfucker
If you ain`t got nuthin nice to say then don`t say nuthin
... uh, fuck that shit bitch!
Eat a motherfuckin dick, chew on a prick
and lick a million motherfuckin cocks per second
I`d rather put out a motherfuckin gospel record
I`d rather be a pussy-whipped bitch, eat pussy
and have pussy lips glued to my face with a clit ring
in my nose than quit bringin my flows
Quit givin me my ammo; can`t you see why I`m so mean?
If y`all leave me alone this wouldn`t be my M.O.
I wouldn`t have to go eenee-meene-mini-moe
Catch a homo by his toe, man I don`t know no more
Am I the only fuckin one who`s normal any more? {Dad!}

[Chorus]

[Eminem]
My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise
at the same time, can make you dry your eyes
with the same rhyme; see what you`re seein is a genius at work
Which to me isn`t work
So it`s easy to misinterpret it at first
cause when I speak, it`s tongue-in-cheek
I`d yank my fuckin teeth
Before I`d ever bite my tongue, I`d slice my gums
Get struck by fuckin lightnin twice at once
and die and come back as Vanilla Ice`s son
And walk around the rest of my life spit on
and kicked and hit with shit everytime I sung
like R. Kelly as soon as Bump and Grind comes on
More pain inside of my brain than the eyes of a little girl
inside of a plane, aimed at the World Trade
Standin on Ronnie`s grave, screamin at the sky
`til clouds gather it`s Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade
And that`s pretty much the gist of it
The parents are pissed but the kids love it
9 millimeter heater stashed in 2 seaters with meat cleavers
I don`t blame you, I wouldn`t let Hailie listen to me neither

[Chorus]

[Hailie]
Ha ha ha ha!!
You`re funny daddy!