(Bobby Miller) 
Well, if things could talk then I`m sure you`d hear 
A lot of things to make you cry my dear 
Ain`t you glad [Ain`t you glad] 
Oh, ain`t you glad [Ain`t you glad] 
Ain`t you glad [Glad] 
Glad that things don`t talk 
Now, if shoes could tell where they`ve been 
When you say you`ve been visiting a friend 
Ain`t you glad [Ain`t you glad] 
He-he-hey, ain`t you glad [Ain`t you glad] 
But ain`t you glad [Glad] 
Glad that shoes don`t talk 
Now, if doors could tell who`s turned the knob 
When he`s away out on his job 
If cars could tell who`s been inside 
And who`s been taking you out for a ride 
Ain`t you glad [Ain`t you glad] 
Oh, ain`t you glad [Ain`t you glad] 
But ain`t you glad [Glad] 
Glad that cars don`t talk 
In a world of trouble I`d be 
If things ever told on me 
My whole life would be through 
`Cause I`m guilty, how about you ? 
If things ever talk that way 
Ain`t no telling what they might say 
Ain`t you glad [Ain`t you glad] 
Oh, ain`t you glad [Ain`t you glad] 
Ain`t you glad [Glad] 
Glad that things don`t talk