Written By Steve Goodman
As Recorded By David Allan Coe
WELL, IT WAS ALL
THAT I COULD DO TO KEEP FROM CRYING`
SOMETIMES IT SEEMED SO USELESS TO REMAIN
BUT YOU DON`T HAVE TO CALL ME DARLIN`, DARLIN`
YOU NEVER EVEN CALL ME BY MY NAME
YOU DON`T HAVE TO CALL ME WAYLON JENNINGS
AND YOU DON`T HAVE TO CALL ME CHARLIE PRIDE
AND YOU DON`T HAVE TO CALL ME MERLE HAGGARD/ANYMORE
EVEN THOUGH YOU`RE ON MY FIGHTING` SIDE
CHORUS:
AND I`LL HANG AROUND AS LONG AS YOU WILL LET ME
AND I NEVER MINDED STANDING` IN THE RAIN
BUT YOU DON`T HAVE TO CALL ME DARLIN`, DARLIN`
YOU NEVER EVEN CALLED ME BY MY NAME
WELL, I`VE HEARD MY NAME
A FEW TIMES IN YOUR PHONE BOOK (Hello, Hello)
AND I`VE SEEN IT ON SIGNS WHERE I`VE PLAYED
BUT THE ONLY TIME I KNOW
I`LL HEAR "DAVID ALLAN COE"
IS WHEN JESUS HAS HIS FINAL JUDGMENT DAY
REPEAT CHORUS
RECITATION:
WELL, A FRIEND OF MINE NAMED STEVE GOODMAN WROTE THAT SONG
AND HE TOLD ME IT WAS THE PERFECT COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
I WROTE HIM BACK A LETTER AND I TOLD HIM IT WAS NOT THE PERFECT COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG BECAUSE HE HADN`T SAID ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT MAMA,
OR TRAINS,
OR TRUCKS,
OR PRISON,
OR GETTING` DRUNK
WELL HE SAT DOWN AND WROTE ANOTHER VERSE TO THE SONG
AND HE SENT IT TO ME,
AND AFTER READING IT,
I REALIZED THAT MY FRIEND HAD WRITTEN THE PERFECT
COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG
AND I FELT OBLIGED TO INCLUDE IT ON THIS ALBUM
THE LAST VERSE GOES LIKE THIS HERE:
WELL, I WAS DRUNK THE DAY MY MOM GOT OUT OF PRISON
AND I WENT TO PICK HER UP IN THE RAIN
BUT BEFORE I COULD GET TO THE STATION IN MY PICKUP TRUCK
SHE GOT RUN NED OVER BY A DAMNED OLD TRAIN
CHORUS:
AND I`LL HANG AROUND AS LONG AS YOU WILL LET ME
AND I NEVER MINDED STANDING` IN THE RAIN
NO, A` YOU DON`T HAVE TO CALL ME DARLIN`, DARLIN`
YOU NEVER EVEN CALL ME
WELL I WONDER WHY YOU DON`T CALL ME
WHY DON`T YOU EVER CALL ME BY MY NAME
