Bert: Ernie .... Ernie .... Ernie, I`m tired of that program .... Ernie, we`ve been watching television all day [or for several hours?] and I`d like to play a record now .... Ernie?
Ernie: Shh, Bert! Keep it down, I`m trying to watch television.
Bert: Okay, smart guy, you watch your ol` TV. I`m going to play a record anyway.
[Bert promptly marches back to the record player, starts playing jazzy music and dancing to it. Note: the TV, record player, etc., are continuous throughout the arguement.]
Ernie: Bert?! BERT! Hey, I can`t hear the television! [No response] Bert?! Okay, if that`s the way you want to be about it .... [he goes over the radio, turns it on loudly, starts humming along] (This is where I get lost, as there is so much noise to hear either clearly.)
Bert: Ernie! Alright Ernie! [whereupon he runs over to the blender and turns that on] Alright, HERE!
[By now the place is full of noise.]
Ernie: OH YEAH?!
Bert: YEAH! YOU LIKE IT??!
Ernie: OH YEAH!!
(POOOOOOOOF! All the lights go out, the sounds quit, we see only Ernie & Bert`s eyes floating in the total blackness.)
Bert: Well now, look, you blew a fuse.
Ernie: Oh yeah, well it was your idea turning on the dumb mixer.
Bert: (resignedly, after a pause) Look, .... Ernie .... how about you go around and turn off all that stuff we turned on, and I will ... I`ll go and try to fix the fuse. [Bert`s eyes wander off. Ernie`s eyes go all over as he steps from switch to switch, snapping each off with a loud CLICK.]
Ernie: Okay .... first there`s the mixer (or radio?) ..... then there`s the radio (or mixer?) ..... over here, okay, over here the television .... and one more, back there--the phonograph! Yeah .... that`s got `em .... yeah ....
(Suddenly the lights go back on, Bert returns. He and Ernie start playing cards during the following dialogue:)
Bert: Look, Ernie, I`m--I`m sorry about playing a record while you were watching TV ...
Ernie: Yeah, well I`m sorry about turning on the radio ...
Bert: Well, and I`m sorry about turning on the blender ...
Ernie: Yeah, and I`m sorry, I shouldn`t be watching so much television ...
Bert: Well, we really shouldn`t be doing stuff like that anyway ...
Ernie: Yeah, we really shouldn`t, after all ....
[fade out]
