(intro)
I picked up this midget you know he`s very very well dressed
Italian suit good looking with a beautiful tall blond
Is it a- a lady midget
No the guy was a midget the blond was a lady
Oh the- I get it
Those midgets are funny hahaha Sometimes I`d like to hold a midget
I mean they`re funny
They always wanna sit in the front seat- Word
(verse 1)
Life`s got me mad
But if I had a midget I`d be glad
To watch him jump around on my nintendo powerpad
He`d have a big head short legs and long torso
The name that I give my pet midget is little Gordo
I`d teach him tricks like backflips and side kicks
When company came over he`d perform and get tips
While I`m eatin at night, in the kitchen he`d be able
To get the food scraps that I threw under the table
If my midget was ever mad and acted enraged
Then I`d take him to the bathroom and put him in his cage
But If he kept acting up and really made me sick
I`d hang him upside down and poke him with a stick
Little Gordo would be good most of the time though
He`d like to wear a helmet and run around yelling Kaiyo
I`d take him for walks in the park on the weekends
And if he saw other midgets he`d say Can we be friends
He`d only need a 3 foot coffin when he was dead
And he`d be in the guiness book for the world`s biggest head
What a funny little fellow, but don`t call him a shrimp
Or he`ll attack your leg cause Gordos a tough gimp
He`d have a pogo ball that he`d bounce on for hours
And dirty little fathead Gordo would`nt take showers
When Halloween came, he wouldn`t be a chump
Gettin all the candy goin round as a tree stump
(scratching/chorus)
Midget is a midget
Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget
Midget is a midget
Hey you guys- Word
Midget is a midget
Midget Mi-Mi-Mi-Mi-Midget
Midget (wo-wo-wo-wo-word) is a midget
Like a midget in a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes
(verse 2)
Sometimes my friends would chase Gordo with a gun
It be fun
Because midgets wobble when they run
They`re so close to the ground and so easy to kick
They`re so slow in the head and so easy to trick
Gordo could do somersaults his special thing
At the fair I would make him enter mudwrestling
Sometimes he`d wear stilts and pretend to be tall
Then I`d kick him over- and then i`d laugh at him fall
Silly little Gordo, just be yourself
I`d put wood on his head, and he`d just be a shelf
He`d do funny little dances but that`s irrelevant
At the beach Gordo got attacked by pelicans
He had a girlfriend once, but she was an ogre
It didn`t last long cause he couldn`t fuck her sober
Gordo had a problem, Gordo wet the bed
so i`d make him wear diapers on his ass and his head
He`d have to clean up his own cage himself
And if he lost a little weight he`d be a keebler elf
He`d really be something, my mangled little munchkin
Plus his head would be larger then any big pumpkin
This perfect little fool would make a perfect footstool
Sometimes I`d kick him in his head and say bitch be cool
I`d have a great life, I`d be happy I know
If I only owned a little pet midget named Gordo
(scratching/chorus)
