JOANNE
Mark?
MARK
Hi.
JOANNE
I told her not to call you
MARK
That`s Maureen
But can I help since I`m here
JOANNE
I hired and engineer. . .
MARK
Great!
Well, nice to have met you
JOANNE
Wait!
She`s three hours late
The samples won`t delay
But the cable -
MARK
There`s another way
Say something - Anything
JOANNE
Test - One, two, three. . .
MARK
Anything but that
JOANNE
This is weird
MARK
It`s weird
JOANNE
Very weird
MARK
Fuckin` weird
JOANNE
I`m so mad
That I don`t know what to do
Fighting with microphones
Freezing down to my bones
And to top it all off
I`m with you
MARK
Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you`re thinking of drinking gasoline?
JOANNE
As a matter of fact -
MARK
Honey, I know the act
It`s called, the `Tango Maureen`
The Tango Maureen
It`s a dark, dizzy
merry-go-round
As she keeps you dangling
JOANNE
You`re wrong
MARK
Your heart she is mangling
JOANNE
It`s different with me
MARK
And you toss and you turn
`Cause her cold eyes can burn
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound
JOANNE
I think I know what you mean
BOTH
The Tango Maureen
MARK
Has she ever
Pouted her lips
And called you `Pookie`
JOANNE
Never
MARK
Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?
JOANNE
This is spooky
Did you swoon
When she walked through the door?
MARK
Every time - so be cautious
JOANNE
Did she moon over other boys--?
MARK
More than moon--
JOANNE
I`m getting nauseous
MARK
It`s hard to do this backwards.
JOANNE
You should try it in heels!
She cheated
MARK
She cheated
JOANNE
Maureen cheated
MARK
Fuckin` cheated
JOANNE
I`m defeated
I should give up right now
MARK
Gotta loko on the bright side
With all of your might
JOANNE
I`d fall for her still anyhow
BOTH
When you`re dancing her dance
You don`t stand a chance
Her grip of romance
Makes you fall
MARK
So you think, `might as well`
JOANNE
`Dance the Tango to Hell`
BOTH
`At least I`ll have Tangoed at all`
The tango Maureen
Gotta dance til your diva is through
You pretend to believe her
Cause in the end - you can`t leave her
But the end it wil come
Still you have to play dumb
Til you`re glum and you bum
And turn blue
MARK
Why do we love when she`s mean?
JOANNE
And she can be so obscene
MARK
Try the mike
JOANNE
My Maureen (een, een, een. . .)
MARK
Patched
JOANNE
Thanks
MARK
You know - I feel great now!
JOANNE
I feel lousy
BOTH
The Tango: Maureen!
