* All snippets of Monica`s +responses+ are Lil` Kim record samples
[Chris Rock]
Thanks for the interview Monica
Now Monica, everyone seems to think they know ALL there is to know
about Monica Lewinsky -- but Monica, could you tell us one thing
that people would be surprised to know about you?
I used to be scared of the dick; now I throw lips to the shit
Handle it, like a real bitch..
[Chris Rock]
Very interesting! Now Monica, there seems to be a lot of demands
on your time. Could you tell us what a quiet evening with
Monica Lewinsky would be like?
Got buffoons eatin my pussy while I watch cartoons..
[Chris Rock]
Hmm, sounds like fun!
Now Monica, who were your role models?
Zsa Zsa Gabor, Demi Moore, Prince Diane and all them rich bitches..
[Chris Rock]
Now in the transcript, you refer to the President as Butthead
Did the President have any nicknames for you?
Poon-poon nanny-nanny, punanni danni..
[Chris Rock]
Ahh, cute!
Now Monica, you and the President had a lot of phone sex.
What was the one thing that you would say to the President
that would make him acheive orgasm?
Before you nut, I`ma dribble down your buttcheek
Make you wiggle, then giggle just a little..
[Chris Rock]
Now Vernon Jordan helped you get a job
What`s the first thing you said when you met Vernon Jordan?
It`s on nigga what? Pussy greased up
Stack the G`s up, keeps the knees up..
[Chris Rock]
So are you saying you had an affair with Vernon Jordan too?
I made my intro, gettin fucked in the Pinto..
[Chris Rock]
Monica you appear to be having sex with everybody
How do the interns treat you?
They be suckin blackberry molasses out my asses..
[Chris Rock]
Now now that we`re on it, how come you never had sex with Al Gore?
I got no patience for little dick tastin..
[Chris Rock]
What about Ken Starr?
He be lookin fruity, but you still can eat the booty..
[Chris Rock]
Now Monica, do you have any regrets about your relationship
with the President?
Somethin I wanted, but I never was pushy
The motherfucker never ate my pussy..
[Chris Rock]
Hey, here`s the President right now, Bill Clinton!
Now Mr. President, before we go,
is there anything you`d like to say to Monica Lewinsky?
* Eazy-E sample *
Bitch shut the fuck up!
Get the fuck out of here!
