And now a buffoon`s meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college.
[Dean:] Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations
on your upcoming graduation and I understand
you are interested in matriculating here in the fall.
[Buffoon:] I got a snake, man!
[Dean:] Yes, pets are welcome here on campus.
Be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile.
[Buffoon:] One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that!
It was all fucked up!
[Dean:] I`m sure it was.
Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students
and pets here on campus.
[Buffoon:] Fuckin` Shit!
[Dean:] Yes, that`s a not uncommon reaction to this policy.
So tell me a little bit more about your background.
[Buffoon:] My father`s a fucking asshole, man!
[Dean:] Hmm, I see. Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son.
[Buffoon:] My mother`s a piece of shit too!
[Dean:] Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility
over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed
and ready to learn.
[Buffoon:] My teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man!
She had her head way up her ass!
[Dean:] Well the quality of the faculty at a University
such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school.
[Buffoon:] Your secretary`s a real fat bitch, man!
[Dean:] Yes, she`s tried many diets over the years with minimal success.
[Buffoon:] I had diarhea last month. I had to shit all fucking day!
[Dean:] Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug,
never a pleasurable experience.
So have you given any thought to your choice of major?
[Buffoon:] I`ve got a big fucking boner right now.
[Dean:] I see. Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods
of nervous tension. I do not take offense.
[Buffoon:] One time I ate my neighbors shit!
[Dean:] That`s understandable. Well, I enjoyed meeting you.
We`ll be sending you our decision by the end of the month.
[Buffoon:] I bet you got really hairy balls.
[Dean:] Yes, it`s a veritable forest down there. Bye bye.
