Like a Surgeon — текст песни (Weird Al Yankovic)

I finally made it through med school.
Somehow I made it through.
I`m just an intern, I still make a mistake or two.

I was last in the class,
Barely passed at the institute.
Now I`m tryin` to avoid
Yeah, I`m tryin` to avoid
A malpractice suit.

Hey, like a surgeon,
Cuttin` for the very first time.
Like a surgeon,
Organ transplants are my line.

Better give me all your gauze, nurse,
This patient`s fading fast.
Complications have set in,
Don`t know how long he`ll last.

Let me see that I.V.
Here we go, time to operate.
I`ll pull his insides out.
Pull his insides out,
And see what he ate.

Like a surgeon, hey!
Cuttin` for the very first time.
Like a surgeon,
Here`s a waiver for you to sign.
Wo-ho. Wo-ho. Wo-ho

It`s a fact. I`m a quack.
The disgrace of the A.M.A.
`Cause my patients die.
Yeah, my patients die
Before they can pay.

Like a surgeon, hey!
Cuttin` for the very first time.
Like a surgeon.
Got your kidneys on my mind.

Like a surgeon, ooh hoo, like a surgeon,
When I reach inside
With my scalpel,
And my forceps,
And retractors.
Oh ho. Oh ho. Ooh, baby,
Yeah, I can hear your heart beat
For the very last time.