by Townes Van Zandt
Well, I ain`t very big for twentyone
and it seems I never could have any good clean fun
cause every time I`d go outside some great big bully`d come along
he`d hit me in the face and he`d knock to the ground
and he`d start kickin` me all around
and that ain`t exactly fair, friends, that`s wrong.
So I got me a paper the other night
and I crawled up on the sofa and I turned on the light
and flipped through the pages till I found the classified ads.
Said, take karate from Lee Hung Chow;
man, make your first appointment now
this course is guaranteed to make you bad.
Well, the next day I drove to the address
by japanese design I was really impressed
it looked like a regular house of the rising sun.
I walked inside, I was all alone
I had a nervous feeling down in my bones
I was kind of sorry I`d ever even come.
Then a giant jap came through the door
he must have been about seven foot four
and he looked like he`s prone to easy aggrevation.
He said, Lee Hung Chow, Ah kee dung
that`s japanese for fee fie foo fum
I tried to explain my entire situation.
He said, Number one course, yankee, self defence,
twohundred dollars and twentyfive cents;
I said What`s the twentyfive cents for? and he said, Repairs.
I said, Repairs to what?, and he said To you
and I thought to myself Man, that won`t do
felt about a half inch tall under that ol` slender stare
Ah, you think he was yellow...
I said, I believe I better go check another place
he said, Ha so, Yankee don`t like my race
I said, Now, there`s a mistake, man, and that`s true;
I`ve been for you you japanese all along
you japanese just can`t do no wrong
and I thought you got mighty dirty deal in World War II.
Well, he grabbed me by the hand and gave a heave
I figured there`s a pretty good time to leave
before he had a chance to do me any definite harm.
But my plan worked out in the end, you see,
now no bully is gonna pick on me
who`s gonna hit a fellow with just one arm?
