[Verse 1]
The moment you squeezed the trigger, I felt dissed
How the hell could you be so selfish, the current events that led up to this moment
You masqueraded your death wish, you ain`t think I had the mental capacity
To comprehended your troubles and theft ness
So subtle I`m breathless, Imma be just like you was my old model
That was before you murked my best friend, big cousin and role model
Left my soul hollow, now I hold bottles of E and J
And drown myself in this alcoholic slow sorrow
And I find myself not taking sips, but whole swallows
And my outlook on life`s meaning is so shallow
You led by example
Your life was the blueprint I was supposed to go follow
Back to fishing due to the fact you missing
At a crossroads `cause at the wake of your untimely demise
You sent me on a backwards mission
Shit, I only pray that Allah has mercy on your soul upon his acquisition
I can`t help but find it suitable cursing
You fucked up a beautiful person
And still on judgment day I pray your sole gets acquitted
Without question I`ll always love you, I just hate the horrible act you committed
[Chorus] 2X
I`ll cry you a river
If not, then this song I`ll try and deliver
I`m still in denial, you can`t die you my nigga
I`m all out of liquor so I`m pouring out my heart to you...my nigga
[Verse 2]
I`d be lying through my grill if I said it`s been all lovely
It ain`t all good it`s been a slow recovery
Except when I`m drunk and bubbly
Although on certain days I swear I feel your brotherly spirit hover above me
Shit, I almost died seven years ago
Think God point you when he said prevention for my divine intervention
If not, then God I wish you do such
Lately I`ve been faced with adversity and dealing with issues too much
No shoulders to lean on, if they ain`t cold then they hunched up
A few family members is genuine and a bunch suck
I know it`s foul, even at reunions some don`t show a smile
Even though most of us are almost 30-years old with child
The degrees of separation lures my heart
Where`s the offspring supposed to start?
Cause sometimes even the thickest of blood grows apart
Am I too old or smart? Even she knows when the goodbyes and hellos is tart
Time don`t heal every wound sometimes it adds to the sufferage
I`m knowing as if life wasn`t enough a bitch
Your presence is missing; still I know your spiritual essence will listen
Give your brother my blessings in prison
[Chorus 2X]
[Verse 3]
They say suicides an unforgivable act
Can`t sneak into God`s graces there`s no visible cracks
So when it`s time for him to revisit the facts, I`m praying
That you an exception to the rule and he`ll review every individuals tracks
Lord I hope you see the goodness that was
But keep a spot in your heart for him and the heavenly hood that`s above
I understood it`s a shove to ask you to keep his soul in your graces
But if anything could it`s the love
If I could turn back the hands of time I`d rather squeeze the tool myself
Can`t let that kind of fate repeat G
I hate me deeply, the possibility if I was to die this moment
You wouldn`t be at the golden gates to greet me
The absence would mess up the vanity the rest of infinity
If I had a personal hell, you could guess what`s the penalty
Shit, just the main thought of it all makes me teary eyed
No matter how much I tell myself to look on the cheery side
No matter how much I talk with God in deep discussion
Cause you and I both knew the repercussions
When you put your soul in the reapers clutches
So why then, I`m still trying to figure as I`m crying this river
[Chorus 2X]
