GARNETT`S HOMEMADE BEER
1. Oh the year was nineteen seventy-eight,
   (How I wish I`d never tried it now,)
   When a score of men were turned quite green
   By the scummiest ale you`ve ever seen
Chorus:
   God damn them all,
   I was told this beer was worth its weight in gold
   We`d feel no pain, shed no tears,
   But it`s a foolish man who shows no fear
   At a glass of Garnett`s homemade beer.
2. Now Garnett Rogers cried the town
   (how I wish I`d never tried it now,)
   For 20 brave men all masochists who
   Would taste for him his homemade brew.
3. This motley crew were a sickening sight
   (how I wish I`d never tried it now,)
   There was caveman Dave with his eyes in bags
   He`d a hard-boiled liver and the staggers and jags.
4. We hadn`t been there but an hour or two
   (how I wish I`d never tried it now,)
   When a voice said Give me some homemade brew
   As steeleyed Stan hove into view.
5. Now steeleyed Stand was a frightening man
   (how I wish I`d never tried it now,)
   He was eight foot tall and four foot wide
   Said pass that jug or I`ll tan your hide.
6. Stan took one sip and pitched on his side
   (how I wish I`d never tried it now,)
   Garnett was smashed with a cupful of drugs
   And his breath set fire to both me legs.
7. Now here I am with my 23rd beer
   (how I wish I`d never tried it now,)
   It`s six long years since I felt this way
   On the night before my wedding day.
see also  BARTPRIV
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