(Ty talking)
`Yes. This is a cautionary tale.
You can ... take it any which way you wanna.
I mean no disrespect in part two.
As we just ... alright ... let me ...` (Ty`s voice fades)
It was a sunny afternoon, somewhere between April, May or maybe June
The year had been quite busy
and I was just taking a break from having to make a tune
I was chilling with my cousin rude boys undercover just ...
watching the place
Sitting opposite the tube
and this girl walked up and said `I recognise your face.
Your name`s Ty isn`t it? I seen you in this and that magazine`
I was quite chuffed really,
looked slightly at my cousin and we both said `seen!`
One month later she phones me up
`I`m in the area, can I come up?` I`m like `please!`
Turned to my brethren said
`I love you like a brother, but BRUSH you got to leave!`
(Tee talking)
`You know what I`m saying? You got to leave! If you met this girl right,
you`d understand. You - have - got - to - go. Thank you.`
Check my reflection in the mirror,
spray a little air fresh, splash a little brute
Answer the intercom, `is Tee there?` Oh,, she sounds cute!
I take her jacket and she`s left with a white dress going from here to here
I offer her a drink, but she only wants water, I`m like `oh each!`
The conversation goes from vague adult chat to thinly veiled come on`s
Blood leaves my brain, my whole body`s a drum stick ... anxious to drum on
How shall I approach this? I`m virtually brain dead plus the line`s busy
I begin with a little friendly WWF and touch the titty!
(Girl talking, Ty whistling in background)
`Hold on, what are you doing? What are you doing? Are you trying to touch
any of this? Who are you? Just because ...` (Girl`s voice fades)
Felt so ashamed! Had to excuse myself by pretending to take the piss
Walked to the mirror, splashed water on my face and said `man what is this?`
Get a grip Ben, just because the girl`s here doesn`t mean you`re in
Ha, this sexy bullshit can mess up the play
and make you think your love is king
(Ty talking)
`Ohhh boy. Listen ...
you know when you`re in one of those predicaments where it`s like,
just, oh what can I say, I can`t say ...` (Ty`s voice fades)
I left the bathroom with a clear head,
expecting her to moan, apologetic in the worst way
She`s butt naked on the sofa,
smiling like a joker `T-Y it`s your birthdayyy!`
(Ty talking)
`No, no, no, no, no, no, no, y`know, no!
You don`t, listen, you don`t have to ask me what happened next!
Anyway, lets just say ... mighty fun was had by all!
Of course this is fictional, so. Y`know.`
