Yeah, yeah yeah, thank you for having me.
MY girl is cheap. She`s so cheap......
I told her to goes to Blockbuster,
and rent me FIVE FINGERS OF DEATH!
(crowd laughs)
She come back with FOUR fingers!
(crowd laughs)
I was like AIN`T THAT A BIP!
You know what I`m sayin?
So, so I`m watchin` Barney, right....OOOII LOOOVE YOUUUUU.....
And, and the nigga just have a heart attack!
(crown laughs loudly and cheers)
So....so, I go into Foot Locker cause I want some new shoes!
I take my shoes off, everybody fall out.
(crowd laughs)
Got me some new Timbs, some Nikes, some socks, everythang!
And lemme see, lemme see....
Oh yeah, oh yeah ohyeahyeah, I`m at the gas station.....
This nigga come up....wipin` my windows, askin me do I have 50 cents?
I told him `no!`
(crowd laughs loudly and cheers)
Ahhh, ah, ah, eh eh, oh OOOOOUUURH....yeah.
Mister Shaquiiiiile O`Neal!
Give it up for this guy, ladies and gentlemen!
(crowd laughs loudly)
Boy got a shoe size of a milk carton.
Ten gallon hat wearin`......
(crowd continues laughing)
So...so....so I`m at Pathmark buyin` lightbulbs, right?
And I see this ooold girl I wanted to get back with in high school....
Still wearing those same curlers......
Slippers and a bathrobe.
Talkin bout I`se hungry!
(crowd laughs)
Uh, how come all the,
only the 500 pound women wanna go in the diet section?
(ha ha ha ha, I DON`T KNOW HOW THE ....)
Yeah, um, so, um....so.....
I saw your mother the other day, right.....right...
She had on this sweatshirt!
It said....U.C.L.A. on it!
I was like Well GODDAMN! I didn`t know YOU went to college!
She said I didn`t! My name is Ucla!
(crowd laughs and cheers wildly)
Mother`s feet so long....
she sit on the top of the Golden Gate Bridge, and get her toes wet!
(crowd continues laughing)
Play hopscotch like this:
Connecticut....Maine.....Boston...Mississippi....
Big short neck havin`.....
so, so lazy, live on the 5th floor, got in the elevator...
Pushed 2 twice and then....
twice and then said fuck it! Walked up the steps.
Teeth so yellow I can make lemonade with it!
(crowd laughs loudly)
I mean....like Wu-Tang say,
Sunshine falls upon a rainy day.....skies aregrey
(they`re laughing at me)
(they`re laughing at me)
(they`re laughing at me)
(stop laughing!)
(stop it! stop laughing!)
