Corduroy Blues — текст песни (Sandler Adam)

When I was a boy
There was no limit on what I could eat
Shake after shake after shake after shake
Followed by all kinds of red meat
Metabolism runnin` around so fast
My body never gained no weight
That pissed off all my Momma`s friends
And made my big-boned sister irate
But now I`m a man
And all that food frolicking has caused my ego to hurt
`Cause even when I`m in the shower alone
I`m too embarrassed to remove my shirt
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
And all them cookies I been munching lately
My feets are becoming difficult to see
I believe it was my Daddy
Who led to this eating disease
By calling me The Little Candy-ass
When I couldn`t finish a burger with cheese
Or maybe it was my Momma
Who got me addicted to the wrong foods
Only when I gobbled down every chicken cutlet
Would I get to see Momma`s good moods
They said eat this, they said eat that
To stay skinny there was no chance
And now when I walk I hear corduroy
Even though I ain`t wearing pants
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
(You fat fuck, you fat fuck)
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
(You fat fuck, you fat fuck)
And all that ice cream I been eatin` lately
My chins alone weigh 203
The diet starts tomorrow!
I have a grapefruit for breakfast
For lunch a bowl of white rice
Dinnertime it`s a saltless potato
I ain`t allowed no spice
If this diet`s gonna work
Tonight I can`t eat no more
Just go to sleep, I say to myself
As I close the bedroom door
Two in the morning, I wake up to piss
My belly`s hungry and achin`
Tiptoe to the kitchen, fuck the diet
Bring on the chips flavored with bacon
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Made a fat mother-fucker outta me
What made a millionaire out of Mr. Frito-Lay
Make a tub o` shit outta me
And all them crumb-cakes I been eating lately
I shoulda bought stock in Sara Lee