Third Rock From Her Thumb (Parody of Thi — текст песни (Cledus T. Judd)

Don`t tell her what it`s worth, third rock from her thumb.

Well, he walks in the pawn shop, one thing on his mind:
He wants to buy a diamond but he doesn`t have a dime.
He finds the one he likes and they cut him quite a deal.
A two carat solitaire but neither one`s real.
Picks up the payphone, puts it to his ear.
Calls his chick, collect and says: "Get over here."

When he shows his girfriend, she can`t believe her eyes.
She never thought she`d ever really get one that size.
He tries to think of somethin` when she asked him: "Where`d you get it?"
Down at Diffie`s Pawn but he never will admit it.
He tries to change the subject: "Forget the wedding list.
"Let`s head on out to Vegas and get it over with."

Flaws and defects, no billing ads.
Hope she never finds out how much he spent.
Nothin` else shines like a zirconia.
Don`t tell her what it`s worth, third rock from her thumb.

Just outside of Vegas, the truck gets a flat,
She says: "We woulda made it if you weren`t so doggone fat."
They try to hitch a ride from some hippies in a van.
To a ratty little motel called "The S&M Grand".
Puts on her little nightie, gives him a little wink.
Ring slips off her finger, down the bathroom sink.

She starts to call a plumber. He begins to shout:
"Give me a coat-hangar, I think I can get it out."
Fishes out the ring in a big ball if hair,
Slips it on her finger as he pats her derriere.
Thinkin` to himself: "It`s a lucky thing.
"A plumber woulda cost me much more than that ring."

Flaws and defects, no billing ads.
Hope she never finds out how much he spent.
Nothin` else shines like a zirconia.
Don`t tell her what it`s worth, third rock from her thumb.

Flaws and defects, no billing ads.
Hope she never finds out how much I spent.
Nothin` else shines like a zirconia.
Don`t tell her what it`s worth, third rock from her thumb.

Wonder what it`s worth, third rock from her thumb.

Don`t tell him what it`s worth, third rock from her thumb.