Vasectomy — текст песни (The Limeliters)

Well, I went to see my Doctor,
I said, Doc, I can`t pay my bills!
The rent`s all spent,
The truck`s got a dent,
And I think I`m gettin` the chills
From being forced to sleep alone,
You see this house just ain`t no home,
I can`t afford no kids,
My life is on the skids,
`Cause my woman says
Leave me alone,
Unless you get a vasectomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Just one little male alteration
Can keep us from another altercation!
Get a vasectomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Oh what a vas deferens there could be!

Well, the next thing I know,
I`m laying on a table
With a light shinin` in my eyes!
They strapped my wrists,
They strapped my ankles,
And they double-strapped my thighs!

The nurses were a gigglin`
And I was a wigglin`,
Most uncomfortably,
When the Doc walked in,
With a perverted grin,
And here`s what he said to me:

It only hurts
For a little while,
That`s what they tell me,
That`s what they say!

Oooeeeiy! Ooooh! Aiiiy Oh!

Well, it`s two weeks later,
And I feel a little better,
My mind is more at ease.
The rent`s still spent,
The truck`s got a dent,
But my woman`s no longer a tease!

And even down at the office,
There is a lot more interest in me,
The girls all grin when I walk in!
And brother, they mean to please
A man with a vasectomy,
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Like a sun-kissed orange,
I`ve been squeezed,
`Cause its all juice and there`s no seed!

Well, a vasedctomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Oh what a vas deferens!
It`s beginnin` to make a little sense!
Oh what a vas deferens there could...`

Here is the part that I like the most,
It takes the danger out of bein` close!

Oh what a vas deferens there could..

They snip those little suckers right in two
And clamp `em of with super-glue!

Oh what a vas deferens there could be!