(Listen)
I`ve got thirty-six expressions--
Sweet as pie to tough as leather,
And that`s six expressions more
Than all them, ah, Barrymores put together.
Instead of just kicking me
Why don`t they give me a lift?
Well,it must be a plot,
`Cause they`re scared that I got
Such a gift--well, I`m miffed--`cause
I`m the greatest star--
I am by far, but no one knows it!
Wait, they`re gonna hear a voice,
A silver flute--ah hah, ah hah--
They`ll cheer each toot
(Hey! That kid is terrific!)
When I expose it!
Now, can`t you see to look at me
That I`m a natural Camille?
As Camille I just feel
I`ve got so much to offer.
Hey listen kid, I know I`d be divine because
I`m a natural cougher.
(coughs)
Some ain`t got it--not a lump,
I`m a great big clump of talent!
Laugh!
They`ll bend in half.
(Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?)
A thousand jokes:
Shtick around for the jokes,
A thousand faces. I reiterate,
When you`re gifted,
Then you`re gifted,
These are facts--I got no axe to grind.
Hey, what are you--blind?
In all of the world so far
I`m the greatest star!
(speaking)
No autographs please.
You think beautiful girls are gonna stay a star forever?
I should say not!
Any minute now they`re gonna be out!...Finished!
Then it`ll be my turn.
(back to singing)
Who is the pip with piz-azz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?
Who`s an American Beauty rose
With an American Beauty nose,
And ten American Beaty toes,
Eyes on the target, and wham--
One shot, one gun shot and BAM!
Hey, Mr. Keeney, here I am!
I`m the greatest star,
I am by far,
But no one knows it!
That`s why I was born--
I`ll blow my horn
Till someone knows it!
I`ll light up like a light
Right up like a light
I`ll flicker, then flare up (ha ha)
All the world`s gonna stare up
Lookin` down
You`ll never see me--
Try the sky,
`Cause that`ll be me.
I can make `em cry,
I can make `em sigh,
Someday they`ll clamor
For my dram-er.
Have you guessed yet,
Who`s the best yet?
If ya ain`t I`ll tell ya one more time.
You bet your last dime
In all of the world so far
I am the greatest, greatest star!
