Mr. Long is a man unique in his kind
He`s a Chinese superhero in his own mind
He thinks he`s a sex god, he rarely has a date
Mr. Long is a man traumatized by fate
His first name is Hung, with the last name Long
I heard it, Hung Long, that may have to be a song
Please forgive me I ramble and I sound like a liar
I`m just killing time while my clothes are in the drier
People greet him nicely then they bite their tongue
`Cause they all say the same thing, So, how are ya, Hung?
Well, maybe they`ll open their eyes
And see Long is a man who needs to be lobotomizd
Horny as hell and I know what`s up
He loves to play games, I guess he never grew up
Red Rover, Red Rover, nobody will bend over
So he plays another game called The Hunt For Miss October
Competitive at this, no contest, he`ll win it
He should try out for a spot on the One Arm Olympics
If you wanna be like Long, for a game you`re yearnin`
Just drop your pants and do the Pee Wee Herman
[Chorus]
Find a wife, get a life, do something
You`re just wasting away, what more can I say
You`re gettin` all excited over nothing
He`s been dissed since the day he was born, it`s a fact
His mother told the doctor He`s not done, put him back
He got picked on by his girlfriend, wouldn`t play the game
I guess he didn`t live up to his name
Hung Long has pick-up lines, he made up a few you bet
But a slap in the face is all he manages to get
He told a girl she`s the boss and he`s applying for a bit
And did she have any openings that he could fit
He thinks he`s Superman, it`s gone to his head
He`s faster than a speeding bullet when he`s in bed
One girl almost married him, that`s a fact
But when a gay lover sued, that was the end of that
Nowadays it`s still not real in his brain
He has dreams of condoms breakin` from the strain
He had a blind date once, but his plans were spoiled
He thought she`s look like Bo Derek, she turned out like Olive Oyl
So he doesn`t do that anymore
He just makes his weekly trip to the corner store
Doesn`t worry about back talk or worry about a scuffle
He`s perfectly safe doin` the old Knuckle Shuffle
[Chorus]
