They call me Robert Petrie and I live in New Rochelle
With my wife Laura and son Ritchie
But now my life`s a living hell cause...
I tripped over the ottoman
One too many times
I tripped over the ottoman
Until I lost my mind
I was head writer for Alan Brady
Maybe you`ve seen his show
It`s not very funny and it makes my ears bleed
This week`s guest star isn`t Danny Thomas
This week`s guest star is Death!
All day long I crank out one-liners
With Buddy, Sal and Mel
Once I laughed at Buddy`s jokes
But now my life`s a living hell cause...
I tripped over the ottoman
One too many times
I tripped over the ottoman
Until I lost my mind
Morey Amsterdam can make a sane man crazy
Morey Amsterdam could make a nice guy kill
(x2) and...
I tripped over the ottoman
One too many times
I tripped over the ottoman
Until I lost my mind
Come here Laura; come to me
I`ve been up all night listening to Ice-T albums
Now it`s time for you to get yours
Hello Mel! This is my friend, Mr. Chain Saw!
Hello Buddy! It`s time you die, like the pig you are
In the gutter, gasping for air
This is a hand grenade, Sal
A hand grenade!
Ya know what a hand grenade does?
It EXPLODES!
What did you bring me daddy? (x3)
Well, I brought you death!
Joe: All right!
6 + [untitled]
Take it, boys.
Yeah, my sister`s really movin` up in the world. She dates a full-blown
professor! Goes by the name of Professor Griff. He`s a great guy; he`s
a good ol` boy, that wild ol` Professor Griff. I think he`s a history
professor. The other day, he told me the wildest story about the
history of jewellery.
Anyway, come nightfall, we all love to sit on the porch, an` Sis plays
the banjo, I play the jug, an` Professor Griff breaks out his Jew`s
harp and just flails away. God, I love that guy!
