The Drinking Man`s Diet — текст песни (Sherman Allan)

Oh, I`m on the Drinking Man`s Diet,
It came from a book I was loaned.
It`s really terrific and quite scientific
And I`m half stoned.
For breakfast some cornflakes and vodka,
But cornflakes have carbohydrate;
So I don`t eat those fattening cornflakes,
I eat the vodka straight.
Drink, drink, everyone drink;
It`s not as bad as we used to think.
With every Manhattan your stomach will flatten,
So drink, drink, drink.
The Air Force invented this diet,
A fact which they hotly deny.
Of course they deny it, `cause this is the diet
That got the Air Force high.
For lunch you can have three martinis,
What better lunch is there than that?
But caution: do not eat the olives,
`Cause olives make you fat.
Drink, drink, everyone drink;
It`s not as bad as we used to think.
If pounds you would burn off, then turn on your Smirnoff,
And drink, drink, drink.
For dinner, a nice Scotch and soda
Now that oughtta help you to lose.
No whipped cream, no butter, just lay in the gutter
And booze, booze, booze.
Suppose you should meet a policeman,
Who says you`ve been quenching your thirst;
You just tell him it`s physical fitness
And health comes first!
Drink (hic!), drink (hic!), booze everywhere (hic!);
Pass that decanter of bourbon there.
I`m fatter than ever, but here`s what`s so clever:
I don`t care!
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