Thank you for your money and I thank you for your call
Now let me gaze deep into my crystal ball
And see what the future has in store for you
I gotta concentrate to clearly let the message come through
It says you`ll win the lottery but lose the ticket
When your house catches fire and your dog dies in it
Then again I could be wrong but I never have before
Push one now if you want to hear more
Let`s see, someone will throw up in your car
But don`t worry `cause your car will blow up at the mall
And kill everyone in the area
And the top of your head`ll get a little less hairier
So give up, take a bath, go to bed
If you`re lucky tomorrow you might wake up dead
If not, hey what more can I say
You`re outta luck, your life sucks, thanks for callin` have a nice day
Love, sex, your future looks bleak
Your son will be born as a two headed freak
And then sometime next week, your wife is gonna die
When she tries to make love to a banana cream pie
But don`t feel bad `cause you`ll fall in love again
To a beautiful woman with a golden brown tan
Romance blossoms like a rose it`s a thriller
But her ex-boyfriend will act like a weed killer
When he pummels your face into the ground so hard
That you become permanently part of the front yard
Where there a lawn mower mangles your face
And scatters your remains all over the place
Your life means nothing, you`re a loser, you`re a bore
So don`t bother me with your troubles no more
You`ll be lucky if you live past half-past eight
You`re outta luck, your life sucks, thanks for callin`, have a nice day
You again? Alright, last time
You don`t have to be psychic to read your mind
I know about you and your kind it`s a crime
You got a little extra money and a lot of spare time
You will be greeted by a tall dark man
With a skull for a face and a sickle in his hand
The good news, you won`t have to worry about germs
Bad news, now you`re lunch for maggots and worms
But before you bite it, you might wanna know
That a tumor in your brain is beginning to grow
But I wouldn`t worry about that I would watch where I walk
`Cause you`re gonna get hit by a truck
Personally I`ll be glad when you`re gone
And I hope that you`re scattered over my front lawn
And tomorrow will be even worse than today
You`re outta luck, your life sucks, thanks for callin` have a nice day
