Today boys and girls we have a special speaker in the house tonight
And he`s gonna teach you about life and death
I was born a God damn failure
Dropped outta school at mitalia
Found me a nickel and lost a dime
My whole life story came true in a rhyme
I don`t know what the fuck was on my mind
I tried suicide 4 or 5 times
Tryed to take a whiff into wrist but it didn`t work
And it seems I`m the only one that`s gettin` hurt
Now I gotta bullet and a chain, and I`m fulla sweat
I decide to play a game of Russian Roulette
Click, click, click I guess I loose I didn`t win
So I decide to do it again and again
Now it`s gettin` borin` `cause I keep on loosin`
I guess I`m kinda cruisin` for a bruisin`
Then I take a knife and put a 6 in my head
3 times then I say I wish I was dead
Blood drippin` off my forehead
And then I`m lyin` in my deathbed, but I`m not dead
I gotta headache so I`m gettin` somethin` for it see
I take some Tylenols, about 23
So what you wanna follow me
I got 13 ways to commit suicide
Who would like to hang from a tree?
I would I would, then listen close to me
You get some sturdy rope and put it `round your neck
Tie a real good knot, or the shit won`t work
It`s best to put it in a noose
Just incase you have second thoughts you can`t get loose
Now we`re at number 6
This a real goody no special effects or countertricks
Tie a big rock to your foot no mistakes
Then jump your ass in a deep lake
Get yourself some gas, then drink that shit
Then drink some more, then you smoke the cigarette
Or better yet, get real drunk and take a real long drive
On the freeway down the wrong side
Brother you`re bound to make a hit
It`s like lettin` a pitbull suck a dick
So if you wanna follow me
I got 13 ways to commit suicide
Now we`re on number 11
Did you know suicidalists didn`t go to heaven?
`No where they go man? take another guess
Matter fact take another suicidal test
This is what you do man
Go jump your monkey ass off a real tall building
And then you live through that one
You get reincarnated mean you get to come back son
But I seriously doubt that
`Cause you been tryin` to kill yourself you don`t give a shit about that
All you wanna do is die
Maybe motherfuckers kill themselves but don`t know why
But I know why I`m teachin` you this
Why? Should you have to kill yourself, you don`t miss
To prevent a miss, you put a gun in your mouth
And blow your fuckin` brains out
Fuck your mommy, fuck your daddy, nobody cares
Look how they treated you over the years
What you oughta do is kill them then you
A suicidalist dream come true
So if you wanna follow me
I got 13 ways to commit suicide
