Transcribed by: ldoering@engin.umich.edu (Laurence Doering)
Subject: Detachable Penis
Date: 15 Dec 92 07:26:20 GMT
Detatchable Penis, by King Missile
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It`s detachable.
[background singing begins: detachable penis over and over]
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it`s gonna get me in trouble,
or I can rent it out, when I don`t need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
and the next morning I can`t for the life of me
remember what I did with it.
First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn`t find it.
So I called up the place where the party was,
they hadn`t seen it either.
I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
`cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
But not this time.
So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
I called a few people who were at the party,
but they were no help either.
I was starting to get desperate.
I really don`t like being without my penis for too long.
It makes me feel like less of a man,
and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
After a few hours of searching the house,
and calling everyone I could think of,
I was starting to get very depressed,
so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark`s Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
I saw my penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.
Some guy was selling it.
I had to buy it off him.
He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
I took it home, washed it off,
and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
but I don`t know.
Even though sometimes it`s a pain in the ass,
I like having a detachable penis.
[background voices continue to sing detachable penis for
a while, then out]
