If Shania Was Mine — текст песни (Cledus T. Judd)

Parody of Any Man Of Mine by Shania Twain (S. Twain/R. Lange) Loon Echo Music (BMI)/Zomba Enterprises (ASCAP)
New lyrics by Cledus T. Judd and Cris Clark, La-Po Music (BMI)/Chris Clark Publishing Designee.

This is what Cledus T. wants...

If Shania was mine
Wouldn`t be proud of me
Couldn`t hardly blame her
Cuz I`m so derned ugly
But on our first date
We could have a good time
If I got her on the moonshine

If Shania was mine
Say it fit just right
Though my polyester suit was just a little too tight
And there`s no way
I`d have a bad hair day
Cuz I`d buy a new toupee`

Oh, I`d love to seduce her
But she married her producer
Now all I do is pray, pray, pray!
She`ll get a deevorce someday

If Shania was mine
I`d probably lose my mind
If she only squeezed me, teased me
Pleased me one good time
And if she only knew
All the things I`d do
I`d be the lawn mowin, crop growin
Tater peelin, house cleanin kind
If Shania was mine

Ha huh

If Shania was mine
She`d have to agree
Can`t no one cook road kill better than me
Add a dozen mountain oysters and some old fatback
She`d say "Mmm, I like it like that" cha...
Now all I do is wonder
Whose bed have her boots been under
I wish she`d hadda been mine
Now I whine, whine!
That girl is so doggone fine

If Shania was mine
I think I`d go slap blind
Starin` at her yummy little tummy
And her booty shakin` round behind
And if she only knew
All the things I`d do
I`d be the lawn mowin` crop growin`
Tater peelin` house cleanin` kind
If Shania, if Shania, if Shania,
If Shania, if Shania (ACK HACK)

Now was that Mutt Lange or Deewight Yokel

When she shimmies and shakes
It`s more than I can take
Oh, what she does to me in them videos
Wife`s gonna leave me if I don`t explain
What I see in Shania Twain
I`d love to see her in a magazine
Centerfold if you know what I mean
Oh me-a oh my-a
I wish that Shania
Would buy me a house in South Carolina
Two, four, six, eight, nine
Oh I wish that Shania was mine!
he he he huh huh
Want to be a gal of mine...