If I was your tv I`d be like Look at me
If I was a shooting star I`d be like Peace!
If I was a fat bitches thong I`d be like Hell naw!`
If I was a hotties thong I`d be like Awwww...
If I was a cuss word I`d just be like fuck
If I was a rock on the moon I`d be chillin` like Sup?
If I was a butthole I`d just be an exit
If I was the D.O.C. I`d be like man this is bullshit
If I was the tires on your car I`d be like NEEEAAAWWW
If I was the bumper on your car I`d be like Aww fuck
If I was a balloon I`d be like pap
If I was Allysa Milano I`d be fucking Joe Bruce
If I was a radio DJ I`d probably say the point 103
If I was a richy ass bitch I`d be like umm...ok
If I was Spin magazine I`d put me on the cover and be like fuck us! And
I won`t read this, even us motherfucker!
If I was your mental stress I`d be catching up
If I was your headaches every now and then I`d be like THONNNKK!!
If I was your tongue I`d be hating your teeth I`d be like Man why do
you try to bite me every time we try to eat?
If I was a chair I`d be like Sit here
If I was Kid Rock I`d cut my feathered wolf hair
If I was your muffler I`d be like Shhh, quietly
If I was a price tag I`d be like You ain`t buying me
If I was a fresh ass DJ I`d be like [records scratch]
If I was Jam Master J I`d be like [records scratch]
If I was a cheap clock radio I`d be like [static]
Tune that motherfucker in
If I was Barry White I`d be like What up y`all?
If I was nipple in the cold I`d be like Boing
If I was your dead uncle I`d be like .....
If I was a raindrop I`d just be like drip
And If I had an ax to your neck I might say CHOP!
[Chorus]
If I was, if I was, but I`ll never be
If I was, if I was, but I`ll never be
If I was, if I was, but I`ll never be
If I was, if I was, but I`ll never be
If I was, if I was, but you`re killing me
If I was, if I was. but you`re killing me
If I was a Faygo at one of our shows, I`d fly through the air into and
ocean of juggalos
If I was Andre The Giant This is how I`d be talking
If I was Father MC I`d be like Now what happened?
If I was a mirror, I`d find another mirror
and look each other dead in the eye, crystal clear
If I was a slider I`d slide out your butt
I`d be floatin` in your toilet lookin` at you like What?
If I was a pilot I`d be like This is air traffic control
If I was John Denver I`d be like Nooooooo!!!!
If I was a switch I`d be like Flick me, yoo-hoo
If I was a London cop car I`d be like Wee-oop wee-oop
If I was Chewbacca I`d get a fresh ass fade
If I was Vanilla Ice I`d be like Fuck y`all. I`m still paid
If I was a stop sign I`d just be like Stop
If I was your wooden leg I`d still be giving you the hip-hop
[Chorus}
