Now Everybody`s Me
Rodney: Joe, shut up!
Everybody hates Edie Brickell
All my favourite shows are on TV
All the restaurants serve my favourite food
`Cause now everybody`s me
Now my apartment`s really crowded
`Cause I live there and I`m everybody
And everybody`s sleeping with my girl
But, hey, everybody`s me
Now everybody`s me (x4)
Everybody`s watching Married with Children
Everybody`s into bestiality
The stores stopped selling Amstel light
`Cause now everybody`s me
Everybody loves Charles Manson
Everybody wants to set him free
And everybody`s on the parole board
`Cause now everybody`s me
Now everybody`s me (x4)
I had to put an end to war
Didn`t make much sense to shoot at myself
No more Christians, Jews, Muslims or Amway salesmen
Just a whole planet of TV addicts
Everybody`s got hairy feet
Everybody follows my philosophy
Everybody`s got a nephew named Jeff
`Cause now everybody`s me
They had to lower all the basketball nets
`Cause everybody`s only 5 foot 3
And everybody likes to dress like a monkey
`Cause now everybody`s me
Now everybody`s me (x4)
Now everybody`s into what I do
Steve Albini, John? and Frank Sinatra sound exactly like me
I even set up a duo with Julio Iglesias
It was called Me and Julio Down By the Crackhouse
`Cause even Julio Iglesias is me
I have the number one album
I have all the albums
`Cause now everybody`s me!
+ (1:59) [untitled]
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Now, I understand that some of you don`t know Sarah Jane, so I`ll tell
you a little bit about her. She`s a lesbian Eskimo midget albino. She
went to college and she started the Lesbian midget Eskimo Albino
Student Union, and four hundred people signed up. There they were,
hundreds of `em, lesbian midget left-handed Eskimo albinos. Did I
mention the fact that she`s left-handed? She`s left-handed, alright.
Girl`s got some strange hobbies. One of her hobbies is lowering children
into open manholes, which is kinda difficult `cause a lot of the
children are taller than her, her being a midget and everything... or
her being a left-handed midget... or her being a left-handed lesbian
midget... or her being a left-handed lesbian albino midget... or her
being a lesbian left-handed albino midget Eskimo... life can be really
difficult on that young lady.
She bit me once, you know. Right here, ya see this? Left a mark. She was
lowerin` a friend of mine`s kid into the sewer, I run up, and tried to
stop her. I said, "Listen there, you lesbian midget left-handed albino!
And you stop right there!" Then she bit me. I`m afraid I`m gonna... I`m
gonna turn into a lesbian left-handed midget albino when the moon is
full.
Oh my God, the moon is full tonight! I can feel myself shrinking! I can
feel myself getting left-handed! I can feel myself getting the urge to
build an igloo! I can feel my skin turning white and my eyes getting
red! I can feel... I can feel the urge... to buy a Suzanne Vega album!!
NOOO! NNNNNOOOO!!!!
NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Oh, I`m okay; it was just gas.
