Folksong Gig from Hell
or, We Only Do it for the Money
(Bob Clayton)
We were with a singer friend, driving north a few short miles,
To see him do an opening act, and that just made us smile;
With rising expectations, we were headed out of town,
When right there in the high-speed lane the poor old van broke down.
cho: It`s a long way to sing a folksong,
It`s a long way to go.
It`s a long way to sing a folksong,
Through the icy wind and snow.
Good-bye to ease and comfort
And hello toil and woe!
It`s a long, long way to sing a folksong
But you know that we`d all go.
We got onto the shoulder of the lane divider there
With rush-hour traffic on both sides in the chilly winter air.
The van was rocking every time a truck came bruising past
And I thought, We`ve really done it now, this trip may be our last.
We fiddled with the wire and clamps and all that other stuff,
But the engine never caught again, it didn`t have enough.
It looked just like the coil had blown, although it was brand-new
And we began to think for us the evening`s fun was through.
So then we all got bundled up and gave up on the ride,
Crossed three lanes of traffic and climbed a steep hillside;
Found a phone at a station there, and called a tow-truck fast
Then called the club where our friend`s first gig looked like to be
his last.
Surprise, surprise! the club said, Wait, we`ll send a car for you!
We promised you a chance to sing, it`s the least that we can do.
So, to make a longish story short, we all got to the club
Some sooner, and some later, and that`s, of course, the rub.
You see, someone had to go and get our cars, way back in town
And the two of us who did so can remember with a frown.
We wasted time, spent money, never ate and ---here`s the thing
Missed our friend`s guest set, and never got to hear him sing.
Now we get down to the case, the nub, the camel`s straw.
We didn`t miss the headline act, and that`s the final flaw.
Amateur, uninteresting, and out-of-tune as well
And we had to sit and listen in this folksong gig from Hell.
tune: It`s a Long Way to Tipperary
