It was a fine left coast morning
And I found myself planted outside
The Cap `N` Cork
Tipping back the hops
In order to calm my dancing hands
You see I usually don`t play
The tied-up watchdog routine
Looking up and down the street
But this is the corner
Joey A., my car and I
Were supposed to meet
You see Joey The Amateur and I
Were out clinkin` glasses last night
When I got three sheets to an ill wind
Myself being in possession
Of a fine Double 5 Lincoln convert
Joey offered to skip me back to the crib
I awoke to a barren driveway
And a neighbor started to chide
"Joey dumped you off,
And he`s got your ride!"
Black cats, they don`t bother me
I smile in bad company
And I`m cool as the day is long
But takin` my car, daddy
That`s dead wrong
It was now 11:22
And up scuffles Benny The Shoe
A real hot air merchant from way back
I inquired about Joey A.
And my superfine Lincoln
Then Mr. B.S. beat his gums
And testified to me,
"Joe`s washing the short,
Changing da oil
He`ll be here by three."
So the little hand hits three
And who should appear
But a Cuban cat named Geronimo
An upstanding cat
In the textile business
He said, "Joey knocked over a racketman
And is laying low for a few,
But in your trunk he left you some treasure
A pint of rye and a case of Slim Jim`s
For your masticating pleasure
Now ten p.m. finds me
Hot as a hophead`s zippo
When Rosie appears
On her financially motivated
Nightly exercise routine
I asked the whereabouts
Of the horsepower thief in question
And she shot me that amphetamine stare
And said, "Joey A.?
I just got out of his Lincoln
On Hollywood Way."
I thought
"Kill Joey A.!" when the bar keep came out
To simmer my slow boil
He said, "Joey A. just called on the blower,
He said you better skip town,
`Cause the cops got your ride.
You`re wanted for solicitation,
Possession -- you owe him one,
And here`s the scather." He said,
"And another thing cat,
Don`t ask me for
Goddamn favors!"
